atc_fiancee
Lurker
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Hello everyone. I hope it's ok for me to post this here.
My fiance just got his class date for En Route, and I've recently started finding out some information that's making me very concerned about this job and lifestyle. For some background information, we are actively trying to have a baby, and I recently started taking fertility medication (which hasn't been helping at all with my emotional state and anxiety about this job).
First, I was never told about the high divorce rates in this job, which apparently happens often enough for it to be a meme/joke on many internet forums. Apparently it's not that out of the ordinary for ATCs to have multiple divorces. I also only recently found out about how terrible the shifts can be, and how often my fiance would be missing not just major holidays with his family, but birthdays and anniversaries and weekends in general as well. I was led to understand that this would be more like a 9-5 job, which apparently isn't the case at all. I also read a post on another forum about a woman in a similar situation (newly married, just had their first kid), and she was talking about how for the first few years she was essentially a single parent, and they eventually ended up getting divorced, due in large part to his work schedule.
All of this has completely blindsided me, and I'm extremely worried about our future. If this is all true, then I honestly don't know if I want to even go through with marrying my fiance, much less have a baby with him. I grew up with an absentee father who had an extremely demanding job, he was never home for Christmases and birthdays and I probably only saw him a few times a month. I don't want the same for my kids. ATC has been his dream job for a really long time, and I don't want to be that girl who makes him choose between his career and his partner, it's not fair to either of us. So if all of this stuff is true, please let me know so we can make the right plans before it's too late.
Any information that could shed some light on these concerns would be really appreciated. Thanks for reading.
My fiance just got his class date for En Route, and I've recently started finding out some information that's making me very concerned about this job and lifestyle. For some background information, we are actively trying to have a baby, and I recently started taking fertility medication (which hasn't been helping at all with my emotional state and anxiety about this job).
First, I was never told about the high divorce rates in this job, which apparently happens often enough for it to be a meme/joke on many internet forums. Apparently it's not that out of the ordinary for ATCs to have multiple divorces. I also only recently found out about how terrible the shifts can be, and how often my fiance would be missing not just major holidays with his family, but birthdays and anniversaries and weekends in general as well. I was led to understand that this would be more like a 9-5 job, which apparently isn't the case at all. I also read a post on another forum about a woman in a similar situation (newly married, just had their first kid), and she was talking about how for the first few years she was essentially a single parent, and they eventually ended up getting divorced, due in large part to his work schedule.
All of this has completely blindsided me, and I'm extremely worried about our future. If this is all true, then I honestly don't know if I want to even go through with marrying my fiance, much less have a baby with him. I grew up with an absentee father who had an extremely demanding job, he was never home for Christmases and birthdays and I probably only saw him a few times a month. I don't want the same for my kids. ATC has been his dream job for a really long time, and I don't want to be that girl who makes him choose between his career and his partner, it's not fair to either of us. So if all of this stuff is true, please let me know so we can make the right plans before it's too late.
Any information that could shed some light on these concerns would be really appreciated. Thanks for reading.