CaptainObvious
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What is family life really like for an ATC?
- Thread starter atc_fiancee
- Start date
Was that sarcasm? because seattle would be my choice
YouAppearToBeOnFire
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To be honest, you should call off your engagement and immediately stop trying to have a child.
If you can't be supportive of a career choice and have doubts now there's fundamental issues at the foundation of your relationship. If you think because of other horror stories that your future is predetermined then that's a massive red flag.
Sure, the schedule sucks. Yes, notable life events will be missed. Though how many jobs could single handidly pay every bill and put your kids through school? Pay for vacations pretty much anywhere? All while allowing you, if you chose, to be a stay at home mother. There's plenty of jobs where sacrifices will be made and your fiance won't make nearly as much. Any job paying six figures or more typically comes with long hours and missed events.
We're talking about 40-60 hours a week as an ATC. That's nothing. I've made relationships work on swing shift putting in 80-100 hours a week for years straight while also balancing being in the guard and leaving.
Being supportive is what good couples do. Relationships get hard. Love never stops, liking does. There could be a month or five years where you don't even like this guy. If you can't stomach the idea of that and working through the hard times no marriage will ever truly last.
I think you should sit down and do some personal reflection as well as talk to your fiance. Explain your concerns to him and maybe even see a counselor. Make sure you two are right for each other. I personally already ended an engagement because she didn't want to support this. It sounds like for you that you may need to reevaluate what marriage means to you. It's not all sunshines and puppies. It's a shit show like anything else at times.
If you can't be supportive of a career choice and have doubts now there's fundamental issues at the foundation of your relationship. If you think because of other horror stories that your future is predetermined then that's a massive red flag.
Sure, the schedule sucks. Yes, notable life events will be missed. Though how many jobs could single handidly pay every bill and put your kids through school? Pay for vacations pretty much anywhere? All while allowing you, if you chose, to be a stay at home mother. There's plenty of jobs where sacrifices will be made and your fiance won't make nearly as much. Any job paying six figures or more typically comes with long hours and missed events.
We're talking about 40-60 hours a week as an ATC. That's nothing. I've made relationships work on swing shift putting in 80-100 hours a week for years straight while also balancing being in the guard and leaving.
Being supportive is what good couples do. Relationships get hard. Love never stops, liking does. There could be a month or five years where you don't even like this guy. If you can't stomach the idea of that and working through the hard times no marriage will ever truly last.
I think you should sit down and do some personal reflection as well as talk to your fiance. Explain your concerns to him and maybe even see a counselor. Make sure you two are right for each other. I personally already ended an engagement because she didn't want to support this. It sounds like for you that you may need to reevaluate what marriage means to you. It's not all sunshines and puppies. It's a shit show like anything else at times.
P
PushingTin
Guest
Serious, in a joking manner. ZDC is also pretty fire. They ended a shutdown.
Mr. Miner
Trusted Contributor
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He's either coming into his 3rd year as a CPC, able to balance his work schedule, just got back from a family vacation with their 3 year old, and they decided they are ready to try for a 2nd baby
OR
covid fucked up his training schedule and he finally made CPC last month, but even with the pay bump he's barely making enough to cover his mortgage and 2 car loans. Already scheduled for overtime 3 of his next 4 weekends. Which he honestly doesn't mind because when home, he's just fighting with his wife about how she takes care of the kids on her own, and they can't travel for any holidays for the rest of the year because he's working.
No in between.
Was just discussing this very thing with my wife as I am 12 months from retirement and amazed just how many of my colleagues have split over the years. But wonder if it is really to do with our job, or just how ridiculous society and its expectations have become?
Caveat: Non-US ATC
Caveat: Non-US ATC
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