I gota know the backstory to your username. I’m dying 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Sure!
On a rainy summer eve in the Chicago suburbs, I found myself with the pangs of hunger. I ventured out into the thick damp air and fired up the old '97 corolla, plotting which waffle house was more convenient. On my way to the waffle house on Madison St. I saw a one legged lady in fish net stockings. She appeared to be in distress, so I rolled down my window and asked if she needed assistance.
The rain was wearing on her weather beaten face. She had seen many many summers. Each wrinkle, a story of her youth. Each meth tinged tooth, a reminder of her glory days. She leaned over and put her elbow on my car door and said , "hey baby, for a bag of corn chips I'll let you hit it."
I was awestruck! I had never seen such blatant disregard for societal norms, nor had I ever encountered such blunt and filthy intentions! Especially toward a stranger ! All I could think was , "wow. This poor woman and the things she had to have experienced to get to this point in life...absolutely tragic. She is someones daughter, someones friend, she was loved once. Oh the humanity! "
I looked her in the eyes, fighting back tears, and told her , "listen bitch- you and I both know you ain't worth a bag of corn chips. But I'll let you get warm and dry for about 4 min if you let me raw dog that poop chute." , to which she immediately accepted.
About 90 seconds after crawling in the back of the fuck wagon, she let out a gutteral yell, grabbed her stomach in pain, and fell over. Not a moment after hitting her back, her legs sprung open like a reverse Venus fly trap and the most high pitched queef you've ever heard slithered out of her purple meat curtains, and I kid you not- it smelled IDENTICAL to buffalochicken quesadillas.
Naturally, I immediately flooded my backseat with ejaculate.
I still think of her to this day, wondering if she's found her way in life- or if she changed her stars. I never made it to the waffle house that day, but I made a friend- but more importantly, a memory.
I don't think I need to sew together how that smell coupled with the situation formed my name.
